It’s so often said that it’s almost a platitude: “There is only one reality and that is one you are living in the present moment”. And it is factually hard to refute, isn’t it?
Yet, we tend to resist being in the here and now. But why? Maybe it’s because the here and now is seems so humdrum, so colorless… and so temporary.
Therefore, for many of us, even the pain of the past has more allure than the blandness of the present.
The Allure of the Past
“The past is never where you think you left it.” Katherine Anne Porter
So, what draws us to the good old / bad old days? I’d wager that it is because the past is much more malleable and even reliable. You see, we can selectively focus on our memories of choice or even reshape them to fit a certain narrative. We can choose to see them in technicolor and opt to set them to music. And, of course, we can cinematically replay those past times as many times as we wish and even put them on auto-play.
However, we can’t as easily manipulate the present or reshape it to fit our desires or our stories about ourselves, life and others. The present just is. It seems to just lie there as dumb and as boring as mud.
The Problem with Past Recall
“The present changes the past. Looking back, you do not find what you left behind.” Kiran Disai
But the past isn’t the past for the most part. At least it’s not the same past that we left behind, because it is seen through the eyes of the present. As such, distortion and misrepresentation are not only very possible, they are inevitable.
What happens is that we tell ourselves stories about the past, whether negative or positive. We might think that those stories are an accurate retelling of how it was, but they are likely not. Neuroscientists tell us that the brain is tricky around past recall – it can alter what happened back then. It can link two events that were actually unrelated. It can manufacture and insert things into memories that didn’t happen at all.
Those recollections, false or true or somewhere in between, can bring us joy or pain. So, whether we honor or revile the past, it isn’t healthy to be stuck there, because living in the past robs today of any potential it might have for us.
Let’s face it. The past is dead and gone, friends. It no longer exists. Its issues are resolved, even if we think they aren’t.
So, what use can we make of the past, if any?
Putting the Past in Its Rightful Place
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie
My view is this. Today we can remember the good things of the past and be grateful for its gifts. Today we can acknowledge what was painful in the past and be grateful for its lessons. And that is all. Seduction ritual is complete. Done and dusted.
Now, we can refocus our attention on the moment, because the here and now are where true adventure lies.
Living the Adventure
“Keep looking up! I learn from the past, dream about the future and look up. There’s nothing like a beautiful sunset to end a healthy day.” Rachel Boston
Today, this moment, is the only place where we can live well regardless of our circumstances. Today is when we can enjoy small and great moments as they arise – as well all the moments in between. Today is when we have the power to change things for the better for ourselves and for those whose lives we touch. And today is the time when we can take sensible steps to prepare for the future.
Boring? Not at all. Are you up for the adventure? I know I am.
