“Pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional.” Haruki Murakami
While pain is an inevitable part of life, suffering is unnecessary add-on. It is, in the very least, not something we are meant to endure endlessly or without purpose.
What Is Suffering?
The type of suffering referred to in this piece is mental suffering, which involves emotional or psychological distress such as anxiety, grief, depression, or feelings of hopelessness and despair.
Commonly, mental suffering emanates from patterns of negative thinking and chronic self-blame for outcomes that are beyond our control. These patterns cloud our ability to find peace in the present moment.
However, by recognizing these patterns, we are able to place ourselves upon a path to healing as well as mental and emotional freedom.
Setting Ourselves Free from Suffering
Here are some practices that will ease, if not remove, suffering.
♦ “God doesn’t want you to live this way…” Lessons from Our Sponsors
It’s important to remember that for many there is a comforting belief that a Power Greater, however it is personally defined, doesn’t desire suffering for anyone.
Rather, that Power wishes that we experience compassion and healing.
This perspective invites us to seek comfort, strength, and hope beyond our struggles, trusting that we are supported and loved even in our hardest moments.
♦ Un-Stinking Our Thinking
Often the source of our suffering is this thing called “stinking-thinking”, a term created by psychologist Albert Ellis.
Stinking-thinking is an informal term for negative, irrational thought patterns which include exaggerating problems, jumping to conclusions, and believing negative outcomes are inevitable leading to unhappiness and self-sabotage.
Recognizing this distorted tendency can help us break the cycle of needless suffering.
By practicing self-compassion and accepting our limitations, we begin to shift our mindset away from harsh self-judgement and towards inner peace.
This approach encourages us to gently challenge our stinking-thinking, reminding ourselves that not all thoughts reflect reality or serve our wellbeing.
♦ Turning Off the Ruminating Mind
It can be helpful to pause and gently observe the stories we tell ourselves, especially when these stories revolve around blame and control.
Developing mindfulness techniques—such as focusing on our breath or grounding ourselves in the present moment—can be a practical way to interrupt the unhelpful thought spirals of the ruminating mind.
Over time, these practices foster resilience and remind us that it’s okay to release burdens that were never ours to carry in the first place.
♦ Shifting Our Perspective
We all experience setbacks, disappointments and loss. We can’t prevent every misstep, negative experience or time of hardship.
However, this is where shifting our perspective comes in. You see, rather than letting setbacks define us, we can choose to learn from them and find meaning in them even amid the uncertainty and pain we are experiencing.
This shift in perspective not only helps eliminate or at least reduce unnecessary suffering but also empowers us to face future challenges with wisdom and courage.
In other words, we need to begin the practice of keeping an open mind, because despite our fears and doubts, things might just turn out okay.
Even stranger things have happened, have they not?
