My Lover Isn’t Ready
March 15, 2021
You are wondering what you should do when the persons that you’d like to be in a steady relationship with says they’re not ready for such a commitment. They do “like” you, whatever that means. Quite a spectrum of possibilities there.
Assuming you’ve told them that you feel a deep attraction toward them and that they’ve given you the “I like you, but…” treatment, I believe your options are fairly limited. I present these below, along with some things I hope you don’t do.
♥ You can step away and give them the space and time to figure out their feelings for you. You could say, for example, “I want to be with you, but I can see that you’re not ready. So let’s take a break. If and when you are ready, let me know and we can talk about it.”
♥ Alternatively, you can engage in a purely platonic relationship with them (if you’re both agreeable to that) – meaning “friends only” with no maneuvering or manipulation on your part to change their mind or change the basis of the relationship.
♥ Don’t try to change their mind by demonstrating what a catch you are. If you do this, you are selling yourself short. If someone is telling you they don’t want what you want in terms of a relationship, then why continue to chase the wind? This person is telling you they’re not available for love. Believe them.
♥ Don’t put your life on hold hoping you’ll change their mind. Why waste your time on something that isn’t going to happen? There’s a big wide, virtual world out there. There are adventures to be had, people to meet, lots of opportunities for love and relationship just waiting for you – even during Covid times.