Best

“Have no fear of perfection… you’ll never reach it.” Salvador Dali

A friend recently recounted the experience of being criticized by work colleagues for his efforts in heading up a project. True, he recalled, things weren’t as going smoothly as he wished — there had been unexpected delays and difficulties, but the negativity that was directed against him was devastating to him, so much so that he contemplated leaving his job.

I would expect that many of us, perhaps most of us, have been the recipients of others’ voiced or inferred disapproval at some stage of our development. I know I have.

That being said, usually I am the one that is hardest on myself — berating myself for my flaws and errors of judgement, real or imagined. Put simply, I often condemn myself for my lack of perfection. You see, I don’t need others to deliver the bad news about my failures, it is a self-narrated story that routinely occupies my thinking.

It’s decided – I’m done!

However, I’ve decided that I’ve had enough of it. I am over it. Playing the victim of others’ opinions about me, including my own, is a role that I don’t wish play any longer.

So what do I do about it, I asked myself, outside of exiting stage left?

As to an answer, I was initially clueless. So I took the problem into my meditation practice and sat with it for a time. Nothing came forward until later in the day as I walked along the nature path near my home. It was then that these words came to mind:

“I can only do my best. Perhaps my best is not good enough, but it is all that I have.”

Yes, I thought. I can only do what I can do and if it’s not good enough for others… or for myself, then that’s just too bad. I can do no more because it is all that I have.

That means for me:

No more striving to reach some abstract pinnacle of success.
No more over-extending myself to please others.
No more self-flagellation when I or others don’t think I’ve made the grade.

Instead, I will just let go of the outcome as I have no control over it anyway. I will accept that things will be as they will be. I will confirm to myself that I have done my best. And if someone else wants to step up to the job, then good luck to them.

Those words were soothing to my mind, heart and spirit. And so, in that moment I let go of what I no longer needed – the belief that the gifts of love, approval and appreciation must be earned and that these gifts can only come from others.

In that moment, a good-sized chunk of my perfectionism had been obliterated. I experienced a sense of release, a sense of freedom.

You see, now I know that I can only do my best. I also know that my best is precious, because it is all that I have to give.