“Just a reminder: feelings are not facts! However, they are strong and they matter… “ Elizabeth Sockolov
Mostly the notion that “Feelings aren’t facts” makes a lot of sense, especially when we are caught up in our ruminations and their related feelings.
What I am saying is that our many of our thoughts and associated feelings are not based on reality – for example, those times when we are afraid of what might happen in the future or when we exaggerate our feelings of guilt and remorse for things we’ve done… or not done.
In such situations, remembering that our feelings are not necessarily fact-based can relieve us of stress, dread and worry.
However, there are times when we should pay attention to our feelings because they do indicate that something needs to be attended to — those times when we feel in our gut that something just doesn’t quite feel right.
Here, I’m broadening the term “feeling” to include our senses and instincts even though they are, technically speaking, different entities. See the below definitions and examples.
When Our Feelings Do Matter
“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.” Sabaa Tahir
Our bodily-automated instincts and senses can and do trigger emotions and feelings. For example, after an instinctual response, like recoiling from a physical threat, we will feel intense emotions (e.g. shock and panic). Later we will likely develop feelings about the event (e.g. dread and fear of a future attack). Such responses are natural and normal and they need to be attended to, otherwise they may negatively impact our day-to-day living.
Also, there are times when we sense or feel that something is “not right” in a situation or a relationship. In these circumstances, we might need to investigate further by asking questions of the other party. Or we may need to consider what further action is needed, particularly when our safety and wellbeing are at stake.
Thus, when we ignore or sublimate our instincts, senses, emotional responses and feelings in certain situations, we do so at our peril.
