Meek Is Not Weak

“Humility is the surest sign of strength.” Thomas Merton

Humility has had a bad rap. It is often seen as being spineless or holier-than-thou or phony.

What I am talking about, however, is the real-deal humility, which comes from a place of personal truth, that place of strength and conviction that is inside each and every one of us.

Nonetheless, however integral our humility is, it may be difficult to access, depending on our personality, our family background and the larger culture in which we were raised. But that is okay, because, once we see the benefits of it for us individually and collectively, we might make a decision to find and flex our humility muscle.

Humble Is Not Easy But I Am Trying

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” C. S. Lewis

Certainly for me, humility does not come without struggle – despite its consistency with my inner truth. And so, I have reframed humility as “aspirational” – something I put into practice, however imperfectly, hoping to get better at it over time.

Thus, humility is a choice, which I try to practice from a place of courage, trusting that, if it accomplishes nothing else, it will be both character building and a way to right-size my ego, which needs a bit of tampering down from time to time.

Some Humility Practices & Their Benefits

“Humility is not weakness, but strength under control.” A.R. Bernard

Outside of character building and ego containment, humility, even less than perfect humility, produces many benefits. Here are some humility practices that I am putting into place:

Minding my boundaries. Minding my boundaries in relationships means not doing for others what they can do for themselves. When I stop myself from trudging into another person’s territory, it is a mark of respect for them and their capacity to handle their own business.

“Humility is knowing where I leave off and someone else begins.”

Listening more and speaking less. I attempt to listen more than I speak. When I am listening, I am demonstrating my esteem for the other person. When I am listening, I am open to learning from that person regardless of their age, background or education. Life lessons can come from anyone and everyone, from anywhere and everywhere. And I will never be too old to learn.

“True humility is staying teachable, regardless of what you already know.” The Random Vibez

Celebrating others’ successes. When someone is doing a good job of something, I endeavor to offer my sincere congratulations and well wishes. It is a wondrous thing to allow those words to come up my throat and out my mouth. You see, when I notice someone else’s successes and offer my sincere praise, we both are uplifted and utterly transformed.

“A humble soul can rejoice in the graces of others.” Zion’s Casket

Stepping aside to let others’ lead. When I step back and let others lead – even when I think I can do it better — it strengthens the team and empowers the individuals within it. Good teamwork increases the likelihood of success – all of which serves the greater good. And it brings with it shared satisfaction at a job well done.

“Have more humility. Remember you don’t know the limits of your own abilities.” A.L. Kennedy

Minding my words. In speaking to others, I try always to use respectful language, spoken in a well-modulated tone. I do it whether I agree with them or not, or whether I like them or not. Respectful language builds trust, safety and reciprocity in relationships and it costs me nothing. To speak harshly and unkindly costs me my soul.

“There is no respect for others without humility in oneself.” Henri Frederic Amiel

Respecting the natural world. I respect the earth when I do what I can to conserve it and all its elements – plant, animal, air, water and land. As I “walk softly” upon it, I remember that I too am of the earth. I am not superior in any way to any other part of creation and as such it is important for me to know my place in the total scheme of things.

“To have humility is to have respect for all things great and small”. Anonymous

And here is my greatest discovery. When I practice humility, I demonstrate my enoughness – an enoughness that says that I do not need to prove anything to anyone, not even to myself.